Commitment

For anyone returning, you can see that I've changed the look on here today. I decided that the original background of books wasn't inspiring me to change my sedentary ways, and since I'm home again with a sick kid, I had some time to waste during his morning nap. I just didn't realize HOW MUCH time I would waste! What about this one? Oh no, too busy. What about this one? Oh no, that makes me look like I think I'm cooler than I am. What about....??? Maybe it's ridiculous and maybe it's not, but at one point I found myself thinking back to choosing fonts for my wedding invitations. It was then that I clicked "Apply" and have decided to just go with it. I need spring. I need sun and warmth and new growth, and while my preferred and most common me-time activity is to hole up somewhere in the house with my nose in a book, I need to shake it up.

The boy is still sick but is on the mend. Tomorrow I start physical therapy and the timing is good. After several days of lugging around an extra 25 lbs on my hip, my body is certainly ready for it. My exercise over the past three days has been limited to short walks, but I am working hard to find any positives that I can. For example:

Bummer - I had to take my kid to the ER.
Positive - He felt better afterwards, and if I hadn't, my car would have been in the driveway when a huge limb from our oak tree broke and fell down.

Bummer - I've been eating like a starving pregnant woman.
Positive - I've eaten just about everything in the house so I really can't do too much more damage.

Time, Time, Time...

Fever free this morning! Baby is on the mend and the weather promises a good day for getting outside. He is still struggling with the other symptoms (banging ears, crying because he can't breathe and eat at the same time, overall exhaustion), BUT he's also had some happier and gigglier moments too. : ) Thanks to everyone for all of the encouraging messages on here, FB, and email about him.

SO, while it feels like it has been ages since I've exercised, I am trying to remind myself that it has really been less than a week and to shake it off. I woke up this morning with A Hazy Shade of Winter playing through my head. It seems to be sticking with me. I'm clearly ready and in need of a good spring! The sky was clear last night, and I took a short mother-daughter walk through the neighborhood. The fresh air and focused time with her was wonderful for my psyche. Today while we still have all hands on deck before returning to work tomorrow, I am excited to shake off the worry and get back to some balance. On the docket? Housework inside and out and a bike ride.

Sick Child: Please pass the Cheetos

The second half of this week has focused entirely on Lochlan's health and not on mine. I've been worried about him and trapped in the house, which has led to an uncontrollable food fest on my part. : (

After fighting a losing battle against a really high fever, I took him to the emergency room this afternoon. He was so hot after his afternoon nap that I filled the tub immediately and even after that his temp read 104.4, which was enough to freak me out. He was due for the ibuprofen as well, so I gave it to him and made necessary phone calls. **Special thank you to Alina here!** By the time we were seen, his fever had fallen to 101.5, and I was almost apologetic for taking their time. The big lesson I thought I would be walking away with was that I could give him more ibuprofen than the box indicated by using a formula based on a conversation of his weight in lbs to kilos. This was news to me but was repeated several times by the nursing staff and the resident doctor.

Then came the real doctor. : ) I'm sure that the resident will be a wonderful doctor at some point, but she was ready to send us on our way while assuring us that the antibiotics would do their part but that he probably just had some virus. The real doctor chose to order a blood test and to start an iv to get some fluids in him. I think the rest of the staff was skeptical about the decision, and I wondered if it was just a CYA hospital policy to keep ordering tests or if she really thought there was something else to find. Based on the results for the blood work, she ordered a chest xray. Five hours from start to finish, we left knowing that in addition to the ears, his tonsils are very infected and he has pneumonia as well. :(

We're now on our third antibiotic for the week, have upped the dose of his bedtime ibuprofen, and are crossing our fingers that he starts to get well.

It's Thursday already?

One thing is definitely confirmed. I actually feel guilty when too many days pass without posting anything. A very good friend pointed out to me recently that she'd been waiting for me to write again. I hadn't realized she'd been reading the posts at all! My public commitment is working! So, aside from my physical excuses, I should note that I have been managing more regular episodes of aerobic activity in front of my TV, my scale is telling me that I've lost four pounds since I started the blog, physical therapy starts next week, and my bouncy ball chair has arrived and been set up in my office at work. I was a little nervous about adding the chair to my already ridiculous shoes, but instead I have been really surprised to find more of these balls throughout my building being used by other coworkers with similar back or hip pain.

For those of you that don't know, I try to pull off somewhat professional attire at work. I'm not in a corporate office and do get to indulge in a pair of jeans on Fridays, but the other days there should be some glimmer of career minded clothing. My more recent accessory every day lately has been to top off my outfit with a pair of old shabby running shoes. Let me tell you, I feel smokin' and totally professional walking around with those things on! Argh. But, my feet aren't hurting too badly, and I am desperate to avoid having another surgery.

15 Minutes

I had exactly 15 minutes today between work and kids to give the bike a try. With two exceptions, it was really good and a lot of fun. The first exception is that I need to commit and either get new shoes or new pedals. I'll explore those options. My guess is that I'll accept the fact that while intimidating, clip ons will be the way to go. Every person I know who has them has told me that A - they love them, and B - they crashed a few times in the process of getting used to them (usually publicly).
The second exception includes a neighbor of mine. I actually don't know exactly where he lives, but for the five years that we've been in our house, he has periodically surfaced to pressure us for employment, throw rocks at our animals, or slur obscenities. Just be glad he isn't your neighbor. In any event, after getting on the bike and riding past the first two houses, Neighbor Weirdo comes waltzing out in front of me. Grrrr. He of course thinks this is hilarious as he blocks my way. In retrospect I guess I could have sped up and tried to go around him, but he's so unpredictable. It was only a brief moment, but I was soured that my first bike ride had to start that way.

The remaining 14 minutes were a blast. : ) I felt like a little kid riding up and down the streets, but it was good to get more comfortable on the bike and remind my body of what to do.

The Ologists

My appointments were all really good today! I left the final of three wondering how many people out there like their doctors personally as much as I do. The important one here was that the obgyn really doesn't think this is caused by endo, and the orthopedist (okay, so he's not an ologist...) doesn't either. I'm not sure this is good or bad since he has basically prescribed the same treatment that I tried years ago without success, but we'll see and after four weeks if the PT doesn't produce good results we'll reassess. The biggest thing he said was that he wasn't restricting me from exercise at this point. So, if I can brainstorm something to do that won't hurt my foot, I'm good to go.

Grump, grump, grump...

I haven't written much in the past week but it isn't that I haven't had much to say. Over the past 7 years I have had all kinds of various pain in my lower back, abdomen, left hip, left knee and right foot. I go through cycles when everything hurts and then amazingly nothing hurts and then sometimes it's one area or another only. I've been to rheumatologists and orthopedists and physical therapists and chiropractors and gynecologists (is it endometriosis causing everything?) and gastroenterologists and massage therapists and ... pregnancy seemed to be the fix rather than the cause, and for the past 18 months I've felt pretty good. Now though that I'm trying to move around and simultaneously wean my son, slowly things are coming back and it's time to look again.

In the meantime while I go back to the see the doctors, I'm on the lookout for ideas of what I can realistically do to not give up and give in to sedentary living. I did have a good dance workout last night WITH my daughter instead of being watched by my daughter, and that was great. Any suggestions???

Ice

Last night I iced my hip for a while before going to bed and was able to sleep on my side for the first time in three months. I'm slowly figuring out which movements seem to work without causing too much pain. I should go exercise now, but I'm hurting and giving in to it. Boo me. : (

Downward Dog or Drowning Monkey

I had promised myself that I would exercise at some point today. My legs have felt a bit out of whack since my little jog on the treadmill and experimenting with a new thigh exercise courtesy of a teacher-friend of mine, so I opted for yoga. For many people yoga is this amazingly fluid and beautiful experience with a Zen shaker sprinkling good vibes. For me, it involves huffing and puffing and constantly telling myself that I may or may not get to that pose at any point in my life. I made it through 40 minutes, which was really more like 48 with two minute breaks between each 10 minute segment, and I have two major realizations. One - my hamstrings refuse to cooperate or give any indication of room for improvement. I'm like a little-old man whose legs won't straighten past 90 degrees once he bends at the hip. Two - I am nowhere - no. where. - near as strong as I used to be.

But again, the day didn't end without some type of energy spent, so downward or drowning, I'm satisfied.