Treadmill

I went over to use my sister's treadmill today while my daughter was at one of her many practices. After dropping her off and picking up coffee at the store, I had exactly 25 minutes to get moving. My plan was to alternate between walking and running for short intervals as a delicate way of asking my heart to play along in this new game of exercise. I took a couple of minutes to walk and prepare myself, but once I started jogging it wasn't so bad. In fact, while I had at different moments in the short period bursts of wonder related to my knee and my hip, my lungs and my heart seemed somewhat copacetic. I certainly didn't set any records, but I did find that instead of needing to walk as much as I'd thought, I was able to run consistently for a mile once I started. Hopefully I'll make it over either fairly often in order to set some goals and track my progress.

Weather

Okay so I keep my promises. It wasn't the workout of all time, but I did manage to get some exercise in during the past 24 hours. While my daughter harassed me and threatened to tell my husband, I thoroughly enjoyed doing some hip hop and jive dance exercises thanks to On Demand's Exercise TV. My limbs weren't necessarily exactly where the TV instructors told me to put them, but they were moving nonetheless so I give myself credit. When hubby came home I preemptively told him about my awkward performance and lack of familial support thereby shielding myself from snickers and ridicule. We have a loving family, but it is also usually fair game to poke fun whenever moments arise. There was no way I was even going to try and defend those moves!

Aside from that, I shoveled the drive and walkway all the while telling myself that I was earning a much deserved beer.

George Washington 5K

Two moments helped me put my goal into perspective on Monday. After telling a good friend and co-worker about my plans and efforts, she came to me on Monday morning and invited me to run in the George Washington 5K with her in April. My immediate reaction was near to panic. Never mind that it's only a 5K. Never mind that I have three months to get there. In 10 seconds I managed three excuses not to do it. My hip pain! My husband's work schedule! My you-name-it-I've-got-it! How lame. She left the invitation open with a very understanding nod of her head and we both went about our day. A few hours later I went to a meeting where I saw another friend/co-worker that I don't see on a very regular basis. He complimented my weight loss and asked for my secret. Without hesitation I confessed what had been bouncing around in my mind since my morning conversation and needed to be confronted, "I'm all talk." I went on to explain my bike, and my goals, and plain truth that while I'm saying 2011 is my year to become healthier, I seem to be reserving January for the planning stage rather than any type of actual implementation.

On Tuesday I registered for the 5K and even invited another friend to join us.

Now, I am watching my dietary intake for the weight-loss group and hope to manage a pound a week, but I know that it is time for me to get serious about the exercise too. I've had a few short bursts - 10 minutes here and there of warming up, stretching, ab work, etc., but until this point in 2011, I cannot name one good, solid workout. I promise the next time I write I will have done one.

Numbers

The fact is, I'm turning 35 this year. I was so happy to get to 30. It was as if I was finally sprinkled with a decent dose of crediblity and oddly comforting - like pulling on a favorite sweater and having the perfect occasion to wear it. Turning 35 has been looming over me since a month before I hit 34. Why? What's the significance of 35? Aside from the obvious that it is closer to 40, I have a inescapable habit of comparing myself to my mother who died at 55. So 35 then, gives me 20 years. Now I realize that I could be hit by a bus tomorrow and that there is no guarantee that I'll get 20, and yes, there is of course the possibility that I could live well beyond that too. But it is what it is. My brain focuses on 55 and the hourglass getting me there.

Turning 25 was no earth shaker. My daughter was born a few days prior, and aside from hoping that we wouldn't share a birthday (and yes, that I'd get to see Harry Potter in theaters), I didn't have the same kind of "30 years left" feeling - my mom died when I was 26.

More important numbers greet me on my bathroom scale. Fortunately, they haven't been so harsh to me lately, but I attribute that entirely to nursing my son and give no credit whatsoever to positive habit formation or strong willpower. Sadly the opposite is my trepidation - now that he's weaning, those beers and snacks have got to go.

And again, here we are at the bike. : ) Is the bike going to solve everything? I'm sure there are people out there who would confidently say "YES!" I admit that right out of the gate I know I need more than that.

My work has organized it's own version of The Biggest Loser, and after signing up I have been added to a team with three other ladies competing against three other teams. In addition to supporting each other, we've put in a small little pot-o-cash for the winner, and have signed ourselves up for the Pound for Pound Challenge to support our local food bank. If there is one thing I know about myself, it is that I ALWAYS do better when I am with or commit to other people. I hope this helps, and that while I do come back to the numbers, I hope I get to celebrate the successes of some friends too.

I bought a bike

They are only four words but tremendously fun to say. In fact, in the past 24 hours, I haven't a clue how many times I've said them - out loud and to myself. I've gone and done it. After years and years of telling myself and others, I was finally able to confront the unknown and bite the bullet.

My new bike is a cyclocross - a 2010 GT GTR Type CX bike to be exact, although I admit that aside from telling you that I loved the way it felt to cruise up and down the parking lot and that it is basically blue with white tires and handle, I can't give much else in terms of detail. In fact, one of the biggest reasons I haven't bought one before now is just because I was afraid. Every year or so I'd walk into a bike store, get completely psyched out just looking a the types of bikes and admitting to the very friendly knowledgeable staff that I was 100% clueless. My Christmas present forced me to go in and actually talk to someone, and you know what? The guy was nice. And helpful. And we talked, and I asked questions, and I rode a couple of bikes, and I bought the one I wanted.

And so, the rest of this blog, is going to be for me to chronicle my new relationship with the bike and how I work this year to reclaim my life.

And so it begins.

I started a blog a few years ago without much purpose or direction. The basic gist was, "I'm a mom and today my life is great!" followed by "I'm a mom, and today my life sucks." By reading the first part of either sentence, I imagine my followers could predict the second. I'd said it. "I'm a mom," what else should be expected?! You have good days, great days, and crappy days. I found my main purpose at that time was to vent. I'd love to say there was more to it, but in all honesty, I was just complaining. I think I was trying to play by the rules all the time and then just let loose on the crappy guy in the truck who cut me off, or the overzealous moms at preschool, or the reality that is my job. But you know what? I sounded pathetic. I don't want to be that person, and I try not to be as much as possible. Now, I'm not promising that I won't complain here, but the biggest difference I foresee will be that instead of focusing on how I want everyone else to change, I'm going to focus on how I can change myself. Wow. I sound like an ad for rehab. I could go on an on here, but the basic thing to understand was that I didn't like who I was in that blog. I don't want to live a life of complaint, and I'm not looking to make other friends who similarly want to rant and rave.

I just want to figure out how to be me, and at 34, I feel like it is about time. So the new me wants to tell you something WONDERFUL. I bought a bike. Yesterday. I have been talking about buying a new bike for over ten years, and for Christmas this year my wonderful husband gave me a new bike helmet with a personal certificate attached so that I could, "Go Buy a Bike". And that, my new friends, is where I would like to begin my posts for 2011.