Treadmill Etiquette

Sunday evening I went to the gym for a balanced workout of running and weights. My legs were tired, I was tired after getting around four hours of sleep the night before, so I wasn't exactly expecting the workout of all time.

When I approached the treadmills, most of them were empty. I've never counted, but I think that there are somewhere around fifteen machines give or take a couple. I got on, walked for a minute or two to loosen up, and started to jog. Everything was fine until a woman came over and selected the treadmill right next to me. Remember that I just said most of them were empty. I felt like she'd broken some obvious social norm. If there are 30 chairs to sit on while waiting at the DMV, and 27 of them are empty, you don't choose one right next to another person. Likewise, you can fully expect that someone isn't going to choose one right next to you.

I know this is an apples to oranges thing, and I probably would have been able to move past it, but it's important to understand that my issue with proximity is primarily about speed and pace. Plodding along at 5.5mph, it's unnerving and sometimes stressful to have someone running much faster right next to me. I wish there were partitions between each machine.

It's also a reality that some people run like gazelles, and some people run like elephants. My new neighbor was a stampeding bison. The THUMP, THUMP, THUMP, THUMP, THUMP, THUMP was slightly terrifying and definitely distracting. You see, I am lovely Miss Abby Cadabby practicing fairy exercises, and she was Elmo banging away on the drum.



I tried my best to block it out by maxing out my ipod volume, but then...

... then came the hills. Her interval workout ranged from running, to running faster, to running on the steepest incline on the treadmill. Now I respect people who choose to run with an incline. I really do. However, when it is necessary to hold on as tightly as possible to the bar in front and virtually hang from it so that your feet can continue to THUMP, THUMP, THUMP, at that point it's just irritating and proof that the world needs Darwin awards. The first time she did it, I was just processing what was happening and wondering again, why in the world she had chosen the treadmill RIGHT NEXT TO ME. The second time she did it, I was secretly snickering at the idea of her all of a sudden – whoomph – disappearing behind us as she got thrown off the treadmill, and the third time I was having a Seinfeld-esque moment wondering what the proper protocol would be should that happen. Would anyone stop their workouts to help her? Would I?

Monday night I went for a run outside.

Training for What?

Anyone who has been reading this blog for very long knows that I started it in January with the basic goal of forcing myself to exercise and make some lifestyle changes.

Jan. 2011 photo shows reasons #1 and 2 for wanting to have more energy and be healthier.

There is no doubt that I have enjoyed the new activities with my famliy. I loved running with Emily, I'm psyched that Justin bought a bike, and I'm excited about where we are and the possibilities ahead of us. But it is also true to say that since January, my goals have evolved.

The cashier at Whole Foods presented it well to me the other day when, as I was swiping my card, he read my shirt aloud, “Every step is a good step.... cool... what is that all about?” So I told him about my blog and my need to be happy with what I accomplish and build, rather than beat, myself up. He nodded and then asked, “so... are you training for anything?” Huh. I guess a long lifetime of happiness and good health doesn't count as “anything.”

But the fact is, right now I'm not training for a long lifetime of happiness and good health. I am training for my next sprint triathlon on September 18th, and I think I am becoming just a little obsessed. Based on my last two races, I just know that my legs aren't strong enough to push hard on the bike (regardless of distance apparently) and then run with any umph. I've started developing weekly plans, identifying weaknesses, and determining the paths to strengthen those areas.

The next race is only 300 yards in the pool. I almost wonder if it is worth getting wet for such a short distance. I'm telling myself that it will be a quick, refreshing dip before mounting the bike and tackling the 17 miles, which is what I am really nervous about. Without racing, 17 miles sounds delightful; but since I'm so new to all of this, 17 miles sounds like a really long way to beg for speed. The run is relatively short again – 2 miles to the finish line. The key here is of course, making it to the finish line and actually running to get there.

My weekly plan is still pretty basic. Each week I want to do the following:

-one long (hour plus) run increasing overall distance
-one brick building the distances each week by: 3mi/bike and .5mi/run (This week I am at an 11mi bike and 2.5mi run)
-one timed 5K with increasing average mph
-two days of legs, lower back, lats, tris, etc. weights

Keep in mind that I am not a coach, I don't have a coach, and I couldn't afford a coach even if I wanted one without possibly selling one of my children. So it's all me, and I am TOTALLY OPEN for advice from anyone who is a coach, wants to be a coach, dabbles in triathlons (or any of the three independent sports), or really just likes giving advice.

It's kind of crazy, but I actually want to get better/faster/healthier and more competitive. (Can't stress enough here that I mean competitive with myself and NOT with those amazing athletes who eat, live, and breathe training.) I just registered for a 10K in November - yes, gasp... me. I plan on running 6.2 miles FOR FUN. Well, maybe not for so much fun, but surely there is something good that will come of it. And not only that, it's my birthday present to myself. Bring on 35. Egads.

AND, (deep breath here as I once again commit myself to something possibly insane), I think I want to register for an olympic triathlon in 2012. 1.5k swim, 40k bike, and 10k run. So there. I've said it. Swim Bike Mom, what HAVE you done to me?



Sure your logo is cute, and you blog about all of these silly adventures and life-changing accomplishments, but ... should I be thanking you, or blaming you? I guess I have a few months to decide.

Guest Blog: So Says the Spouse

Hello all! I find myself, after many requests from my lovely wife, at the computer as a guest writer of sorts for her blog…. At first I wasn’t sure what to write about, but in keeping with the theme of her blog I’ve decided to write about my wife’s transformation and my support role in our now joint wild journey….

I must admit when my wife, a self proclaimed lover of her sleep, came to me and told me that she wanted to start waking up at 5:30 in the morning to go for runs/walks I was skeptical, and frankly slightly afraid for my life at the thought of being the one to wake her up. But, not only did she prove true to her task and dedicated, she was quite accepting of my often “Hol, it’s five o’clock time to get up!” as I poked her and then simultaneously rolled back over, pulled the covers over my head, and promptly went back to sleep.

This transition led to Holly signing up for events. At first it was a 5k or a walk here and there. Then it became her first sprint triathlon. I’m proud to say that she survived and enjoyed it so much that she promptly signed up for another! In my role as the supportive skeptic at first I had now become quite amazed at what she had accomplished. I had gone from taking pleasure in revealing her secret, “yeah and she’s signed up for a triathlon too!!” in such public settings as Giant, Starbucks, CVS, and to anyone, check out clerk, pharmacist, random stranger into the proud husband that would boast about her, “oh yeah, well MY WIFE does triathlons!!”

It was about this time that she started to take a more serious look into the sport of cyclocross. Holly’s bike is a cyclocross bike which means it is geared like a road bike, but has a stouter frame and higher road clearance to compete in cyclocross races. Now for those of you unfamiliar with cyclocross I will provide you with my synopsis. A cyclocross race is an off road race through mud, creeks, hills and valleys often at high speeds whereby participants will most often encounter multiple obstacles (creeks, large rocks, deep mud, abandoned Volkswagon buses from the 70s) which force the rider to madly scramble off their bike, throw said bike on their shoulder, and run, crawl, or otherwise debase themselves to continue to a point in the course where they can madly regain their biking posture and peddle like mad. In a recent interview of a cyclocross race winner, who was caked head to toe with slime and mud, it was remarked that “the mud was really bad with the rain and he ended up running approximately 3 miles of the 7 mile race (please note, during those three miles he would have been shouldering said bike).”

While to a sane and logical person like me this sounded like a terribly inefficient way to end up in the hospital without even a good explanation (yes doctor I slipped in the mud, fell into a creek and dropped my bike on my forearm….) to my wife it has become a goal. Per our agreement, and my checking our insurance policies, she can’t compete in a cyclocross race until she has completed five sprint triathlons. Undaunted, she has completed two and has a third in September. Oh, and lest I forget, the sport of cyclocross is a late fall/winter season sport; apparently the mud, slime, and rocks prefer it that way….

Up until now this had solely been my wife’s transformation and I as loving husband was a support function at best, mascot/cheerleader at worst. Then came the passing of the disease…… I warn the bold among you it comes on innocuous enough with such phrases as “a family 5k would be fun” or “the pedals on my bike are hard to use.” But eventually, you find the supporting role morphing…. Now, as a runner I’ve always been up for the occasional charity 5 or 10k but the evolution of the bicycle has passed me by as such a rapid pace that Lance Armstrong might as well be Orville Reddenbacher in my world. At least that was until the seemingly harmless phrase from my wife “why don’t you take my bike for a bike ride….”

In order to provide the gravity of this invitation it is important to describe to the reader the comparison to my last biking experience with the experience now presented to me. At this point the last time I had ridden a bicycle I was twelve. The bike was a trusty rusty BMX bike. It weighed approximately 40 pounds had one gear, no brakes and was ridden in the standing position in a side to side motion that approximated five side to side swings for each forward lunge. The invitation was to ride my wife’s still relatively new bike which has twenty seven speeds, requires the additional concentration on the part of the rider to keep its feather weight earthbound, and in only the rarest of circumstances should it be ridden in the upright position, preferably by a rider that has a clue, which I did not at the time….

All of this rushed through my mind as I headed out in our neighborhood….. As I descended the first hill I thought about how to Tour De France riders the weight of their bikes is paramount as they attain their competitive positioning within the pack…. That was the first three and a half seconds. Then came the realization that I was in no way, shape, or spandexed form a Tour De France rider I was a very inexperienced rider now traveling at a blinding rate of uncontrolled speed hurtling to what at best was going to be a painful experience and at worst was going to be a pathetic eulogy. I’m glad to report that I was able to regain control (thank you wife for the back brakes first, then front brakes advice you undoubtedly saved me from embarrassing road rash).

Upon regaining control I experienced my first biking high! Like Leonardo DeCaprio in Titanic I was flying and yes, I felt like the king of the world. Unfortunately however this led me to the sin of overconfidence… As I pedaled my way through the paths behind Lake Accotink boldly trying out the various gearing combinations like I had a clue what I was doing I decided to stand up and give the bike the old shimmy and sway which as all of you who paid attention in physics will recall is the secret to Lance Armstrong’s amazing prowess. Oh how a little misinformation can lead to a near death experience….

The shimmy and sway on my old BMX bike at a slow rate of speed did little more than make one look like an inept suburban hoodlum primarily in part to its heft and secondarily to its low center of gravity. The same cannot be said for a modern day road bike, they are light, capable of much faster speeds due to their gearing, and situate the rider in a much higher position in relation to the bike. In short, the old shimmy and sway on a modern day road bike makes the rider look at best like an idiot and at worst (as in my case) like a terrified idiot thanking God for sparing him once again in a short bike ride. In truth, I didn’t even get fully through the motion. I shimmied, but upon my sway in the upright position the whole bike lifted off the ground and danced in three hops approximately two and a half feet to the left. Needless to say I have learned the pleasure of staying in the saddle.

But that was it. I was hooked and with some support from my wife I went down the obsessive path to bikedom. I spent days learning Shimano from Kimono and comparing ultralight frames and their compounds to judging the merits of which performance enhancing supplements I should take to maximize my experience as A BIKER. After much research and consideration and a lot of thought into turning my wife’s hobby to a joint hobby, I purchased a Fuji cyclocross bike. My wife’s pleasure as she took my picture can be summed up in her phrase “now when are you going to do a triathlon with me?”

*******************************************************

This is Reason #7843 I love my husband. :-)

Super Sprint

Yesterday was the Super Sprint Triathlon - 400y swim, 8m bike & 1.8m run, which were PERFECT distances for me. I had two goals based on last month's experience - 1) be more assertive in the pool and waste less time in a cluster, and 2) run the whole time. I signed up for the Super Sprint within a day or two of the last race specifically for the short run distance to work on my running hurdle.

Getting to the race was easy. The forecasted storm never showed up, I was there early enough to get the bike rack that I wanted, pick up my race materials, get my timer chip and body marks, and still had time to chat with some really nice people.

The biggest problem I had with the swim last time was a lack of strategy. As a creature of habit formed by years on swim team, I am used to swimming on the right when there are other swimmers in the lane. So, it took me 17 lengths and a few weeks to figure out that all I really needed to do was stick next to the lane line of the next lane. This swim was 25y shorter and about a minute and forty seconds faster. Check plus for goal number one.

Most sprint tris that I've seen end with a 5k/3.1m run. Last month we only had to do 2.6, and there were still places that I walked. I just wasn't ready for how squiggly my legs would feel, and I didn't do a very good job storing up any energy because I was caught up in just trying to ride the bike. Pacing is not and never has been my forte. Any rowers out there will understand when I say that I belonged in the middle of the boat without any decision making responsibilities. Last week right after telling my friend that I lose track of how many laps I swim, she laughed at me because I'd just done two more than we had planned. My brain has it's strenghts, but that is just not one of them. So, when at the very start of the run there was a gentleman right ahead of me who seemed to be running at a safe pace, I was very grateful, followed him the whole way, and then thanked him right after we crossed the finish line. Here is a pic of us -

Thanks to him, I ran the whole time AND got the bonus of coming in third for my age group - woot! Yay Lance!

... Okay, there weren't that many people IN my age group, but I got a fun medal regardless. :-)

... and my daughter thought it was cool.

The ERG

I am trying out a neighborhood gym for the month of August to see how I like it and how often I can realistically get away from the family before taking the plunge and signing up. In changing jobs, my husband decided to join last week as there isn't a good and convenient gym near his new building, so he and I have been debriefing each other on our workouts and experiences.

Tonight was a good treadmill run for me - 5.5 miles in an hour - followed by ten minutes on the ERG. I rowed in high school and did a brief stint of it in college, so I know how to use the machine although I would never, ever describe it as fun activity. In fact, during my short piece tonight, I found myself thinking that some crazy triathlon people should meet some crazy rowing people so they could set higher goals for themselves. It. is. HARD. Using the erg reduces you to the physical pain without getting any satisfaction from feeling the boat or the water and being outside.

On Sunday Justin and our brother-in-law went for a crossfit class (I have no idea what this is, but it sounds like a very expensive way to get someone to tell you what to do.... I'll let you know if I find out more details), and the class included a rotation on the ergs. Keep in mind that Justin has never rowed before, and there was apparently, NO instruction on how to do it.

So Tuesday after my run I hopped on the erg for a quick 5 minutes before I needed to leave the gym just to let my body reacquaint itself after the seventeen year separation. This in itself was somewhat dangerous for me. For ten years after I stopped rowing I would typically have one or two dreams every week about it - stressing about my technique, trying to push my legs faster, etc. I loved rowing, and I miss it. I'd like to think that someday I'll have the time and access to do it again, but I'm sure that is far into my future.

In any event, there are two ergs at the gym, and they seem to be located in the dead center of all of the cardio equipment. This is shocking to me. Ergs, in my opinion, should be located near a wall, preferably with a mirror, and ideally in a corner - not out in the open where all ridiculousness is celebrated in glory. No lying, the guy next to me looked like a wet noodle in an electrical socket. As I told Justin about it, I could tell by the look on his face that he had no idea there was any particular form to be aiming for, and there was a strong possibility that I had just described his crowning achievement from the crossfit class.

Our convo:

Me: The guy was just noodling!

Him: Uh...

Me: I mean really! Where does he think that oar is trying to go?!

Him: Uh...

Me: Seriously. The oar goes in the water (accompanied with quick demonstration on carpet), you push your legs to grab the water, open your back and pull the oar in - straight!

Him: Yeah, okay...

Me: Well how is he going to get back to the beginning with his knees in the way? I'm sure he's never rowed before, but it's a rowing machine! It should in some way resemble the process! Noodling!

Him: Noodling...

Me: Yes! Up down up down - pull the oar into the body, raise the knees, lift the oar over the knees, make a HUGE dip into the air as the body finally decides to come back up to the beginning - NOODLING!

Him: Is that what it's really called?

Me: Heck no. You just say the person looks like a pathetic dumbass. Actually, rowers are typically nice people. They just THINK he looks like a pathetic dumbass.

Him: (Somewhat aghast because wife rarely calls anyone a dumbass and moves to carpet to practice)

So yesterday (we're taking turns going to the gym and staying with the kids) he decided that he was going to give it a try after his weights workout. I may have created a monster.

Him: I saw the noodling.

Me: I don't know why those machines aren't anywhere near a mirror to give people a chance.

Him: The guy next to me... You should have seen him. He was all over the place! He was... (quick demonstration and the eyes popped open) he was NOODLING! It was THE NOODLER!

(true enough, the physical description confirmed that we must have been rowing next to the same person)

Me: (chuckling) So you liked the erg?

Him: What an incredible workout! You work everything! The noodler and I finished at the same time and he said to me, "yeah man, that was a good row."

Me: (blinking) There is no possible way that guys knows how to row. He'd either tip over, or his boat would and probably should toss him in the water.

Now don't worry - Justin has made it clear to me that under no uncertain circumstances am I to give the noodler or anyone else advice, "because no one at the gym wants advice about anything - you're either flirting or a know-it-all." Coming off the treadmill, I felt pained for the guy already on one of the ergs. I'm sure he wanted a good workout, and he certainly wasn't noodling, but the problem was he was barely going anywhere AND his hands were upside down. I threw my towel over the monitor, started my watch and ipod, and closed my eyes. After about two minutes I opened them and noticed that he had turned his hands over, and after a few more minutes his body started to elongate. :-)

I don't know how far I rowed, and for the next several pieces it will probably be best for me not to look, but even if I don't like the erg, it is the closest to rowing there is, and with my eyes closed, it isn't that bad.