More than Mama

For quite some time I've been struggling with a type of identity crisis. Or I guess it's just taken me a while to figure a few things out. Does that ever happen to you? When I started this blog, I was, saw myself, and assumed that everyone else around me thought of me as "Mom/Mama/Mommy/my-older-friend-that's-a-mom-and-can't-go-out-with-us/my-younger-friend-who-can't-do anything-else-because-her-kids-are-still-little, etc. My son was about to turn one, I'd spent seven months at home with him before returning to work, my body was... let's just say it was less than acceptable to me - out of shape, out of breath, and chronically exhausted.

During this phase of personal commitment - time for me, positive thoughts, physical exercise, I have once again felt like and become "More than Mama". Don't get me wrong, I love being a mom and wouldn't give it up for anything. I just love being other things too. I love being a friend and the new friendships that I have made. I love having new hobbies and goals for myself and feeling so good when I succeed. After 10 years of total focus on the kids, it's been really good and healthy for me to bump myself up the priority list. I still go to cheerleading, school events, playgrounds, libraries and all that other stuff that provides my children with activities for their developmental needs (stimulation, physical exercise, social interaction, confidence, love, and everything else we strive to get into them), but I'm not only going to those places, and I'm not restricted in my conversation to talk about them.

For a year or so I've wrestled with thinking about myself as "Mama Gets Moving" and wondered if I was finished with it. Have I met my goal of adding exercise to my life? Yes. Do I like feeling limited to being a Mama? Not any more. Do I change the name and continue writing, meeting people, and setting goals? Thinking about it. While I don't post that often anymore (attributable to a busy 3 year old rather than a sleep scheduled and slower paced infant/toddler), I do write in my head all the time. Is that journaling? Ghost blogging? Escapism? Who knows. What I do know is that it helps me think things through, and that I love the connections I have made through sharing my ups, downs, goals, and crazy health adventures. Maybe I'm on to the sequel - Mama Got Moving and Found Herself Again.

It wouldn't have been possible without all of you. During my recovery from hip surgery, I have been so lucky to have all of the private messages, comments of encouragement, and offers for running partners. You are the best. My next post, which will come very soon I promise, will be about the new goal for the Richmond Marathon in November and my plan to get there.